bittybat | W3, Monday-Wed (look i kept forgetting to add the dates)

[ For the first time, she hesitates. Not out of doubt over herself, or fear, but ... out of doubt over him. ]

Damian...

[ Xion sighs, lowering her gaze to the floor. ]

I think you want the right things, and I believe you're trying to help. But other than that, I don't ... really have any reason to trust you.

[ She looks up at him again, and though her expression is apologetic, there isn't much give in it. ]

I don't really mind you knowing it was Riku who told me all of that, and I even don't mind you knowing about me. But you're asking me to trust you with more than those things, and... how do I know you won't hurt them?

[ She's been too trusting. All along.

Her friends are dead and she is running out of ways to accept and forgive. ]

[Dammit. Trust can go to hell. He has his own problems with it, and he gets it from his father, and he hates it, but also he doesn't mind it. Fuck trust.]

I can't trust you any more than you trust me. You could mean well, but you could have also been the one to have Riku killed. Intentionally or accidentally.

[A sigh.] I need to know because I'm the Bounty Leader, and I need to remain alive to end this game for everyone.

[ That accusation makes her go quite still. If he wanted to win her over enough to get her to admit what she knows, that was not the way to do it.

So instead, Xion just stares at the floor with a blank and intense look. ]

What does being the Bounty Leader mean? What do you do?

I'm the leader of several other Bounties. I don't know who they are yet. If the Bandits refuse their role when picked, we're the ones who have to do it for them.

Additionally, I am looking for another role. If I can find them, I can end the game permanently.

[ Now she looks up at him, still blank-faced. If the idea that he's willing to kill the people that the Bandits won't bothers her, it's at the very least not apparent.

After a long, long pause, she finally says: ]

Noctis. He was with me when I went to find Riku's notes. Everything I know, I've told him.

[ A pause as she hangs her head again, this time in thought. ]

I haven't shown the notes to anyone but you and him, though Shinnosuke knows it was Riku who told me what I said at the trial.

[ In she pulls a slow sigh, and just as slowly, she lets it go. ]

So... end it permanently, huh? How?

[Noctis and Shinnosuke. The latter: the guy with Jason, but he won't know that until later. He'll remember, however.] I'm going to have to kill them.

[It's spoken bluntly, but there's a strange expression on Damian's face.] But I'm not going to do it. That's only one way to win, and I'm not going to be goaded into playing by the ridiculous rules of people who won't even show their own faces.

The end result of the game isn't important to the Sheriff or his employers. They only care about entertainment. I'm going to find another way to win instead.

The Sheriff claims he is the final judge for everyone. People will go back home, even the supposed dead, if he's satisfied by how the game is played. All we have to do is give them a good show.

[ The shock and panic on her face are immediate, but she ... doesn't otherwise react. She takes a few slow breaths and stares at him like she's never seen him before. ]

... I remember, [ she finally whispers. ] About what happens if you win. But...

[ Xion's jaw tightens and she looks away from him. ]

What is it ... you're actually suggesting? What will you do to them?

I haven't decided. [He's loathe to admit it.] I'll find a way.

I want you to ask the Sheriff if you can send a message to Riku through him. See what he says, and then tell me his answer. Can you do it?

[ .... she nods, slow, her expression not much changing from a concerned kind of fear. ]

Uh-huh. I was gonna talk to him this week anyway.

[ ... ]

Damian ... if you have to kill them for knowing what they know, why not ... me?

[Again, Damian frowns.] I don't have to kill anyone for knowing.

I have to kill a special role to end the game. As a Bounty, I'll potentially be required to kill someone when the Bandits refuse their positions. The rules state someone has to die each week. I don't have to kill the Bandits, only a new target.

No one has refused so far. [He doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed in others.] I offered to be chosen because I don't trust that the other Bounties wouldn't kill someone.

... it's because of what they might use the knowledge for, [ she murmurs, trying to figure it out for herself. Well ...

The thought of it, the terror, claws at her chest like hot knives. The idea of Noctis or Shinnosuke getting killed because of this--

Well, it would really be because they had a role, wouldn't it? And if killing either of them would end the game, and send them all home...

Xion is thoughtful for a long moment, a kind of pensive unhappiness overtaking her. Finally, she just ... nods. ]

I don't have a role, [ she says softly, with a strange little smile. ] The more we find out about them, the more I think I can see why. I don't think I could ever do what you're doing, even though ... someone has to, to put a stop to all this.

[ A deep breath, and she tries, very, very hard, not to imagine the heads of the two boys she named propped up, bloody, on pillows. ]

I'll help you as much as I can. [ She looks up, her brow pinched tightly over a searching expression. ] People here, they ... trust me. I don't really get why, but no one here seems to think that I could be capable of committing a murder.

[ Shinnosuke might. Damian himself might. But most people, well...

The fact that not a soul accused her during the last trial was proof enough. ]

If that means I can help you get answers, I will. I'll talk to the Sheriff and I'll let you know what he says as soon as I can. I was going to talk to him about the roles, too, so... maybe I'll learn something else.

[ She is .... so tired. ]

Just, please, Damian ... tell me what I can do.

[Frankly, he hates the way she looks at him. It feels too much like promises, and he hates making promises. Mostly because he's too worried he can't keep them like he wants.]

Don't tell everything you know, even to people you might trust. Tell them just enough. Keep a list of people who you've spoken with about anything like this in private. If something happens, we may have some suspects to investigate. I'm going to do the same.

In that regard, you can talk to Jackson, Papika, and Todd. I can't say whether they are one-hundred percent trustworthy, but I trust them enough.

[ Given that she's had a habit of being quite open with the people she trusts ... that will be a strange and difficult shift for her. Her expression clouds, but she nods nonetheless.

A list ... not unlike what Riku had done. Well, she can do that, if she must. It would help her keep track of all that's happened anyway. ]

Percy...

[ Said very soft. Well. Yes. The two of them have become quite close now, given What Happened. ]

Okay.

[ For a moment, she presses her face into both of her hands. The strain of this, of knowing what she now knows and trying to do what she'll be trying to do, makes her feel physically sick. If anything happens to Shinnosuke or Noctis, she already knows she'll blame herself, and she's already wondering how she can possibly live with it.

But these are her problems to figure out. Given this moment to calm herself down, she uncurls again, and everything about her is just ... neutral. Held in, and quiet.

Xion pushes off of her bed and gets on her feet. ]

I'll come find you as soon as I know anything new.

[Even when Xion stands up, Damian doesn't stop frowning. Despite rigorous training in all manner of things, he can't say he enjoys or likes any of this.] Fine. If you can't locate me, you can tell Papika, and she will get the message to me. Unless it's private.

Don't do anything stupid. [Which has been, so far, his way of saying, "Be careful."

He turns around and makes for the door, but then stops when he's almost there. He doesn't look back.]

Do you want help getting back outside?

[ For what it's worth, she'll try to smile at him a little. She can read the underlying concern of that message. ]

I'll try.

[ His offer gets her to blink at him, and then...

even though he's not looking at her, she smiles for real. ]

Sure. It'd take me forever on my own.

[ So she'll join him at the door.

It's too bad his warning for her comes before she'll really need to hear it, after Shinnosuke and Jason get themselves blown up and she starts reevaluating her priorities all over again. ]

[Stupid!

But anyway, he at least doesn't force her to get on his back again.

They don't have to rush anywhere, so he's content to just offer his arm and shoulder, to help her down the stairs to keep her from flying past and landing on her face near the bottom.]

W3, Monday-Wed (look i kept forgetting to add the dates)

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